Shake Your Money-Maker

Benjamins. Cashola. Dolla dolla bills, ya'll. Is it really love that makes the world go 'round, or is it something a little more...George Washington-clad?
Money sucks. It seems we spend our lives chasing after it. For wants and needs and everything in between, we've simply gotta have it. Money is the root of all evil and the source of all shopping sprees. It puts the socks on our toesies and the bread beneath our butter; keeps us working all day and worrying all night.
They say money can't buy happiness, and that may be true. But the bottoms of my Nike Gel-Cushion Women's Running Shoe sure makes me smile a lot harder than the feeling of stones and glass shards stabbing into my foot.
But I digress.
Even though it's a bummer to have to spend more time with your co-workers than with your family and more Saturday nights flipping burgers than catching the new episode of the Bill Engvall Show, it is what we, as the human race, must endure.
And if we've got to put so much into making money, we should also do our darndest to find ways to hang onto some of it, eh?
Well, agree or don't, but that was my mindset today when I went to the bank to inquire about buying a CD. No, not the kind that makes Lil Wayne money, but the kind that actually makes YOU money. I believe certificate of deposit is the proper term?
In case you are interested, which you must be to have made it this far (I like a proper buildup. I'm a girl, what can I say? ;)) a CD is not going to do you much good nowadays. Typically, you can purchase a CD, which is essentially a loan to the bank for a given period of time (therefore they pay you interest, around 3%, which is better than the interest on most every savings account)and make a few bucks, depending on how much you invest, of course. However, with interest rates plummeting to just over one percent, you'd be better off sticking to your savings account, in most cases.
I also inquired about starting a retirement fund. Aren't you a little young, you might be wondering? Well, yes I am, thank you. But young is the perfect time to start a retirement fund (as starting one at 50 probably won't have the best payoff).
Now, I am FAR from an expert on financial matters, hence why I needed to do a little homework on the matter. Anyway, though, here is a quick summary of what I learned.
When you work full time, most employers offer a 401K, which is a retirement fund. They will usually match your payments into the fund, up to a given percentage of your monthly income. For example, if you pay $300 into the account, your employer will also pay $300 into it, giving you a total deposit of $600. Not too shabby.
You can also invest in an IRA, of which there are a few different kinds, varying on age limits and amounts of tax deductions. An IRA, which stands for Independent Retirement Account, is for those people whose employers do not offer a 401K, or for those who would like to have a second retirement account. Unfortunately for those with IRA's, no one is putting money into the account but them.
Then there are mutual funds. A mutual fund is when you pay a starting sum to a company of people who invest your money in different avenues. They might put some into one stock, some into another stock, and the rest into bonds and real estate. They watch the market for you, and change around your investments as they see fit, with the object being, of course, to make you money. These are not solely retirement accounts, but can be used as such.
The big picture, though, is that it is important to plan for your financial future. Retirees need anywhere from 75-85 percent of their past incomes to continue their previous standard of living, more if they want to travel and such. Only 50 percent of that need comes from social security (saying our generation is even going to receive social security) and pension benefits, and 29 percents comes from "earnings and other sources" (all of this according to a PNC Bank publication). Where's the rest going to come from? That's up to you! (No bank robbing allowed...!)